Hi. My name's Joe Chin. I've just retired from one of the greatest federations this game may ever see. And for the time being, I intend to stay that way. But since GM's these days will recruit anyone of a high enough level and fed-less, I thought I'd do something useful with this space. So if you're reading this, I'd like to make your time worthwhile by offering some free advice.
In my time in TWG, I've never been able to get the mechanics right, no matter how many times I've reset my stats. I've always managed to screw something up. But that's never how I planned to do well in WWI. I planned to write my way to success. And somehow, it actually worked. So what I'm going to do right now is share some of that success with anyone reading this. Here are three secrets to how I managed to lose 90% of my matches in WWI and still be a valuable member of the roster:
1. Don't be a jerk. This is very important, and some people may find this to be the toughest step of all. You don't need to bully, berate, or even beg to get ahead. All you have to do is be willing to listen to what people want and give it to them -- with a little extra. One of two things will happen. Either they'll completely ignore you (in which case it's time to find a new fed), or they'll notice you're not a jerk and be willing to give you better stuff to do.
2. It's not whether you win or lose, but whether or not you get over. This is also a tough one. Winning doesn't make you memorable. It's that random line in your promo about playing Monopoly with your dog or how you're going to take that guy's face, rip it off, and put it on upside-down just because that will make you memorable. (Please don't use those, that's just silly.) You don't need to be a dynamic writer, you just have to be true to your character and not try to be anyone else except you.
3. Don't forget the basics. My approach to promos was always a basic one: Put over myself, put over my opponent, cheap-shot my opponent, and then a catchphrase. The only thing I did was put my own spin on it and make sure everyone involved was on the same page. The lesson? Keep your act simple and don't try to juggle poodles while unicycling over a bed of hot coals. While the poodles are armed with shotguns. And spontaneously explode. If you can get your point across, that's all that matters.
I don't claim to be a genius, but if you like what you've seen of me in WWI, CCW, SWI, or SIW, feel free to say hi and ask me anything that doesn't involve outright joining your fed. I wanted to retire because I didn't want to subject anyone to my inconsistent schedule and motivation, nor did I want to be carried through my mediocre stretches just because someone thought I did something extraordinary in the past. When and if I do come back, I want to be fully committed to doing awesome stuff in whatever fed I join. A GM deserves at least that much from me.
Thank you for reading this. I hope that through all the self-indulgent rambling, you found something useful.
Class dismissed.
Subject: Re: important lesson 
Sat May 22, 2010 2:37 pm
